Tuesday, August 7, 2012

A Reflection- 1977

I was going thru some old photo's the other day that belonged to my Father who passed away in 2007. Among them was this photo that was taken in the early Spring of 1977 at Nova Nada, a Spiritual Retreat in the heart of Kemptville,NS. Looking at the sad image of myself brought back many memories of a time when I left very alone in the World. I was suffering from depression, severe anorexia, separated from my family and a time when none of my child-hood friends could contact me. I cut mysel off from them all in my grief...

I had been trying for months to find a Catholic convent to accept me after graduation of High School only to learn that they only wanted young woman with a collage degree. My family was very poor and collage was out of the question. I had followed my quest to be a Nun sense I was able to walk across the street from my home to the local convent at age 6 and had helped the Sisters of the Assumption of Mary with their everyday tasks and later the care of the local church and residences. Later I was allowed to help the Fransican Monks who took up a house in the South End of town, where I lived, and kept house for them. I was also allowed to attend vespers. I also took calls for them,attending those who came for help to the door of the small mission starting when I was all of 14 years old. After a disruption at their Monastery with some local teens the Brother's there were very sad that the local Bishop requested I was not able to go help anymore because I was a girl.

Feeling very put out I ran away from home and community. It was years before I went back to visit my old community. The Brother's had moved away because of non-support from the Church, the Sister's weren't allowed to have teenager's helping them because of the Bishop and my old friend's had other ideas about what was important to them. I spent the next 24 years of my life raising children and trying to make happy a husband that didn't really care. After my divorce in 2001, I began to follow a more nature based religion and trying to find myself again. Now I have come to the conclusion that if we want to make a difference in the World, we must do it ourself, one person at a time. Start with the most important one... YOU!